I have been out on Fire Island relaxing and working on the two books I am completing. I haven’t been out here in a few years, but before that, came out here every summer for many years. The last time I was here I was working my way out of a unhappy marriage and script doctoring a screenplay, as well as being a member of a share house. This trip, I am happily single, working on my own books, and the leader of my house, and have friends and colleagues visiting to work and relax. In other words, this should be a triumphant return, and yet I am haunted by the unhappiness of the past as if I had had a bad dream the night before. I know I have clung to this sad feeling in the past because it is safe and familiar, an ironic kind of emotional haven after year of huge change and upheavals.
But now, I would now like to be free of the past and have been looking for a way of letting it go. I felt the layers of memories competing with the present experience, and was overwhelmed by them. Like Neo in the film, The Matrix, who has a moment where he drives past a noodle shop he visited before he got free and is momentarily confused. ” Great noodles,” he says wistfully, then realizes he has a memory that never happened. But since he “remembers” the experience, doesn’t that make it real?
This morning, this quote from The Abraham-Hicks folks was in my mailbox, and I thought you might find it as helpful in organizing what is “real” as I did:
When you begin to understand Law of Attraction, and you understand that which is like unto itself is drawn, then it is easier and easier to understand that you are offering a signal, and the entire Universe responds. And when you finally get that, and you begin to exercise some deliberate control about the signal that you offer, then it really begins to be fun, because then you recognize that nothing happens outside of your creative control. There are no things that happen by chance or by circumstance. There is nothing that is happening because of something you vibrated a long time ago or in a past life. It is not about what you were born into. It is only about what you are, right now, in this red hot fresh moment emitting.